‘Children first?’ – the conflicting roles of carers for children bereaved by suicide or homicide

Rinne-Wolf, Susanna; Kern, Tita; Stöckl, Heidi ; Finkeldei, Simon (2026): ‘Children first?’ – the conflicting roles of carers for children bereaved by suicide or homicide. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 17 (1): 2654352. ISSN 2000-8066

Abstract

Background: When families experience a violent death through suicide or homicide, surviving parents or carers face the dual burden of managing their own traumatic grief while supporting bereaved children. Although children’s bereavement processes have received increasing research attention, little is known about how carers navigate these competing emotional and social demands. Understanding this tension is critical to designing trauma-informed interventions that promote healthy adaptation for the whole family.

Objective: This study explored how carers of children bereaved by suicide or homicide experience and negotiate the conflicting roles of being both mourner and caregiver. The analysis was guided by Role Conflict Theory, which conceptualises the strain that arises when incompatible role expectations coexist.

Method: Using a qualitative design, ten in-depth, semi-structured interviews were conducted with parents or close carers of children aged 0–17 who had lost a significant person to suicide (n = 9) or homicide (n = 1). Interviews were transcribed verbatim and analysed using Reflexive Thematic Analysis with an inductive approach.

Results: Two themes were generated: ‘The carer – Children first!’ capturing how participants suppressed their grief to remain functional, prioritising children’s stability and viewing emotional restraint as a moral duty of ‘good parenting’. And ‘The mourner’ reflecting carers’ struggle to find private or socially sanctioned spaces for their own mourning, often compartmentalised and deferred to protect the child. The ongoing negotiation between caregiving and mourning generated emotional exhaustion, guilt, and delayed recovery.

Conclusions: Bereavement following a violent death through suicide or homicide creates a unique form of role conflict that compromises carers’ well-being and may indirectly affect children’s adjustment. Trauma-informed support services should explicitly address carers’ dual needs, offering safe opportunities for personal grieving alongside parenting guidance to promote sustainable family adaptation after violent death.

• Dokumententyp: Artikel (LMU)
• Organisationseinheit (Fakultäten): 07 Medizin > Institut für Medizinische Informationsverarbeitung, Biometrie und Epidemiologie
• DFG-Fachsystematik der Wissenschaftsbereiche: Lebenswissenschaften
• DFG: Gefördert durch die Deutsche Forschungsgemeinschaft (DFG) - 491502892